OMG! I’ve Become My Mom (or Dad!)

Have you ever caught yourself saying something to your child and thought, “Wait… did my mom just speak through me?”Or had someone tell you, “You sound exactly like your parent”?

When I ask this question in my parenting workshops, 90% of the participants will raise their hands.

I remember that moment quite well when I realised it myself.

Growing up, one of the rituals we had to follow was to memorize the multiplication tables- 1 through 16. We had to say them perfectly. No pauses, no mistakes. I used to ask my mom to quiz me. Sometimes, she was busy and would say, “Ask your dad.”​​ 

How many of you have worked on math with your dad without any drama 😀?

I was no exception to this rule.

My dad was very sharp with mental math and I would be very nervous to work with him. One mistake, and I’d be asked to practice again for hours. Just in that nervousness, I would forget even what I knew well 😀.

Years later, I became a mom—and guess what I did?

I started the same ritual with my daughter:

“Memorize your tables.”

“Recite them—flawlessly.”

And if there was any mistake? Back to her room to practice.

Familiar cycle: frustration, drama, tension... repeat.

One day, as I was casually sharing how I felt about memorizing the tables- and what it was like when my dad quizzed me-I stopped mid-sentence.I heard myself.I felt it deeply in my bones.

I had become my dad.

Parenting is not taught. It is modeled.

There is no formal training in parenting. We learn by watching others-our parents, other parents or caregivers.

We absorb - through repetition, emotion and habit.

These habits are not just in our minds. They’re wired deep into our nervous system. 

So, we often parent the way we were parented-unconsciously, on autopilot. 

The words we use, the judgments that we carry, the strategies we follow-all of what we once experienced.

What Is Conscious Parenting, Then?

It’s the pause.

The moment of: “Oh wow, I just did what my parents used to do.”

It’s the awareness that gives us space to choose differently.

And, conscious choice is empowering.

Conscious parenting isn’t about strategies or tips. 

It is about showing up with intention and presence. 

It is about choosing to respond, not just react. 

And the best part? 

It doesn’t require perfection or hours of effort.

Just an intention. A willingness to look within.

And maybe, a little laugh when we find ourselves saying,

“OMG. I’ve become my mom (or dad!).”

🌀 Try This:

For the next few days, notice how often you catch yourself becoming your mom or dad.Not with judgment—but with curiosity.Keep it light. Keep it honest. And maybe even share a laugh about it.

That’s where the shift begins.